Aerosmith and Us

I've recently joined an ex-JW Facebook group and some of the people who contribute to it have made me realise just what a journey it is leaving the Organisation.  As you read their experiences and their (often) open-hearted pleas I am constantly reminded that all of them, in some way or another, are echoing my own feelings and experiences.

There is a lyric in the wonderful Aerosmith song 'Amazing' that says; Life's a journey not a destination.  It is a sentiment that until recently I never truly understood but now I realise that leaving a religion that has controlled and manipulated you for a lifetime is a journey that never really ends but it can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling if you allow it to be.

Even years after you leave there will be moments where you are suddenly transported back to the Kingdom Hall, whether by a word, an old face or even a TV program.  Every time it happens the hurt, resentment and anger bubble to the surface, however when it does, just take a moment to consider;

You no longer have to worry about what the elders (window cleaners, salesman, retired old duffers etc) think of you.  You no longer have to care what your monthly report reads like because you don't need to fill one in!  You don't have to dread the talk slip or the shepherding visit and on a Saturday morning you can have a lovely hour or two extra in bed (unless you are unlucky enough to have to work like me) instead of God bothering your neighbours.

So much of those Aerosmith lyrics reminds me of leaving the religion, it almost seems as if it was written for us;

There were times in my life 

When I was goin' insane 

Tryin' to walk through 

The pain 

When I lost my grip 

And I hit the floor 

Yeah, I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door 

I was so sick and tired 

Of livin' a lie 

I was wishin that I 

Would die 

There were so many times in my life I wanted to leave but couldn't get 'out the door'.  When I finally had the courage to do it I was surprised to find that years later I still felt incredible anger and resentment towards the Organisation and so many of you ex-Witnesses clearly have those same feelings.  We look for magazine, on-line and newspaper articles that paint JW's in a bad light.  We secretly smile every time another child abuse case goes against them.

However it isn't the time element that causes those feelings, it's the years of indoctrination that Armageddon is coming and you (and I) are brainwashed into believing that we are now on the wrong side of the fence. No matter how much we deny it, we are all deeply ingrained with the idea that Jehovah intends to kill us 'very soon'.

We all know that JW predictions are based, not just on their own interpretation of the bible, but upon their own interpretation of their own bible.  It's neither logical or real but it has been drilled into us for day after day, month after month and year after year to the point where even though we don't consciously believe it there is a piece of our sub-conscious that isn't sure and so it keeps returning to haunt us.

However think about the moment you realised JW's didn't have the 'Truth'.

As Aerosmith put it:

With the blink of an eye you finally see the light 

It's Amazing 

When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright 

It's Amazing 

And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight 

Those desperate hearts used to be me and you.  Today they are current JW's who have an inkling something is wrong within their religion.  They can sense the darkness but at this moment in time they can't identify where its coming from.  Seeing the real 'Truth' is 'Amazing' and we all know that we really will 'be all right'.  

Witnesses are encouraged to 'never let an opportunity pass to witness about Jehovahs Kingdom'. Well, for the 'desperate hearts' within the Organisation, maybe we should all use every opportunity to help THEM 'see the light'.